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    00Stevo, September 14th, 2017, 4:40 pm ( Reply )


    Sorry about the little amount of text on this page. But I worked more on the backgrounds with this page.
    Thanks for reading this update

    Advertisement, October 18th, 2019, 9:12 pm ( Reply )


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    Meleeman, September 17th, 2017, 4:37 am ( Reply )


    i like dem backgrounds bruh.
    those backgrounds were a nice change to be honest. but i think in this specific situation, we should be more focused on the characters and their emotions. In dramas I like having backgrounds for establishing setting in a page. after that i'm okay with just the characters and their dialogue, if thats what's important in the scene. i can tell that chris is angry. but i have trouble pinning down Maiko chan's emotions. i can't tell whether she is genuinely concerned, faking it, afraid of losing her. no shock from her lover leaving just like that. no feelings of helpless as someone would feel if they left like that. Maybe Maiko doesn't understand the gravity of the situation, but i still think it warrants more expression from her as a character. now chris you use body language which is good, her expressions are more varied and differen't, Maiko responds in kind being mildly confused, to just uneasy as I see it. we should see more of how uneasy she is in the previous pages, a sweat drop, a heart pound, a tremble, a slight shrinking of the iris, otherwise i'm kinda wondering if Maiko cares at all. some of the expressions in this page also confuse me. chris's reaction to Maiko in page 2. does this show her amazement to Maiko's lack of awareness or about how much she seems to care about her? the third panel i get the idea, but it would be nice if the hand looked more like it was reaching out to her. and it would be enhanced if we could visibly see Chris swivel her body away from Maiko (such as lines indicating movement for example), thus further communicating her distaste of her or her actions.

    the 2nd to last panel i think is an "OH SHIT what the fuck have I done" face, but it looks too mild for the situation. the ending panel is nice. but i also think you could employ more varied camera angles to emphasize the events. for example, the middle panel could be slight above shot like you have it, but instead of having the focus in the empty space, bring the camera around so that the 7/8 view of Maiko is closer to us the reader, and focus is on Chris leaving maiko. this would also help emphasize chris's solidarity in her actions, and the helplessness and futility of Maiko's "Chris wait." with the focus being on the back of chris's head, with her body moving swiftly away from us...

    that was pretty specific. I do hope you take my unwarrented criticism well. i do like your comic and I wish it the best.

    00Stevo, September 17th, 2017, 5:37 am ( Reply )


    Reply
    @Meleeman: Thanks for taking the to leave a review as big as you did. I have recently spent a bit of time working on backgrounds and more different cameras angles, it's difficult sometimes but I'm learning. I have also been trying to get more 'movement' in the way the characters stand. I'm glad you'v noticed that small changes I've recently been doing. It dose take me awhile to make use of suggestions people give as I have about a 5 week buffer of pages (around 16) so it takes abit.

    Thanks again for the reviews you've left.

    Meleeman, September 17th, 2017, 5:55 am ( Reply )



    doin better than me as far as the buffer goes. lol

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